we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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