meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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