its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
