If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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