is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
