jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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