The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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