i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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