you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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