who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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