jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
