I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
