So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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