i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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