I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
