you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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