So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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