who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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