we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
