I accidentally burped into my bong.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
