she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I checked into jail on foursquare
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
