My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
