Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize