Your face is a jimmy john
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just found puke in my bra..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize