I am spending my child support on dildos
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
