So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
