So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
