Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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