One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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