You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize