i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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