i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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