Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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