I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
