last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
