I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
