Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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