I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize