why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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