There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize