I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
