Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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