It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
