Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
