We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
worst night to have a conscience
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
