i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
