thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
