You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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