can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
