i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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