I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize