I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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