i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
