FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
