Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
last night I used snow as a chaser
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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