1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
