guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
