my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
