Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
