Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.