So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"