Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I painted my nails silver

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And what are the implications of that?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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  (313): I painted my nails silver (586): And what are the implications of that? (313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien http://tfl.nu/iy32
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (619)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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  (301): Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere http://tfl.nu/ptau
  Replies (4) Good night (1483) Bad night (513)
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  (925): View more from California

  Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

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  (925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back. http://tfl.nu/vsft
  Replies (22) Good night (600) Bad night (1398)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason

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  (847): This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason http://tfl.nu/ngth
  Replies (24) Good night (814) Bad night (947)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

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  (514): He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period. http://tfl.nu/yw8j
  Replies (18) Good night (611) Bad night (4641)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (753) Bad night (4236)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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  (352): I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green. http://tfl.nu/8k05
  Replies (4) Good night (3592) Bad night (1443)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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  (401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs
  Replies (15) Good night (1159) Bad night (5646)
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  (347): View more from New York

  drinking out of a sandbucket again

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  (347): drinking out of a sandbucket again http://tfl.nu/dvop
  Replies (13) Good night (3070) Bad night (1414)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  There r osticjed everywhere

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  (248): There r osticjed everywhere http://tfl.nu/gpnb
  Replies (12) Good night (1801) Bad night (1107)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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  (812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (714)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

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  (580): true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down http://tfl.nu/hwj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1641) Bad night (689)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm romantic.

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  (306): I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones. (306): I'm romantic. http://tfl.nu/dair
  Replies (4) Good night (1517) Bad night (435)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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  (520): Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window http://tfl.nu/i5wv
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (368)
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  (530): View more from California

  so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.

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  (530): so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/gz7f
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (272)

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