I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
