ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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