Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

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(+26): View more from

Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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(905): View more from Ontario

gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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(817): View more from Texas

2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.

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