the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
