Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You need a sexual gate keeper
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
