Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
