just come out here and I will go home with you...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
