I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
